Scoville Heller

 August 2016 - April 2022 

 Scoville “Bub” Heller, of Pittsburgh, went to be spiteful in the afterlife on April 19, 2022.  Born sometime in the 21st century, he made sure to make it everybody’s problem that he woke up every day.  Scoville graduated top of his class from the University of Angry Lizards, Beaver Campus, where he got a dual degree in anger and overall spite.  Despite his disdain for life, he did help raise over $2,000 for other sick bearded dragons through the Bearded Dragon Foundation so they could “revolt and overtake the humans”.  His favorite activities were diving off of couches, basking, putting his belly in his food bowl, and hanging out with his best friends; hidey log, long log, and basking log.  He was never married, and had no children, so nobody could stop him from doing what he wanted.  He is survived by his loving yet worthless servants, Jonathan and Sarah, who are heartbroken and love him more than words can say.  In lieu of flowers, please give your pets an extra treat today.